If you’ve ever answered “I’m a perfectionist” when asked what your biggest weakness was at a job interview, you probably thought you were delivering a fool-proof response. After all, perfectionists must be perfect, right?

While their dedication to impossibly high standards might come in handy in some cases, perfectionists—whether closeted or self-proclaimed—often experience undue anxiety and work with a mindset that could actually limit their potential.

11 Signs You Might Be a Perfectionist

If any of these traits or habits sound familiar, you might just be a perfectionist. Luckily, there are remedies for each trait that can help you become a better version of yourself that actually is attainable, and that can change the world much more effectively than your quest for the impossibly perfect.

1. You focus only on results.

You know the saying, “It’s about the journey, not the destination”? Perfectionists would be wise to take note.

They see only the end goal and become so preoccupied with meeting that goal that they don’t enjoy the process of learning and growing.

As a result, they might miss out on some valuable lessons that they could have learned along the way, or ignore other possible ideas or opportunities that might have presented themselves because they were too busy keeping their head down and working furiously toward their original goal.

Solution: Slow down! Try some meditation and mindfulness practices that will teach you to enjoy the moment, so you can be more present and pick up on things that might inspire you along the way. You can also try journaling, so you can reflect on your goals and the way you react when you reach (or don’t reach) them.

2. You fear failure like the plague.

Because you focus only on results, you fear failure like the plague, because you’ve given so much importance to the final score.

This fear can hold you back and keep you from trying new things, because you’re only likely to try if you know your chances of success are high. Of course, another side effect is putting some things off until the last minute, since you’re afraid of trying something you might “fail” at.

Solution: For whatever reason, perhaps role models or influences from your formative years, you’ve come to view failure as the worst thing a person can experience. That’s likely because you associate failure (and success) with a person’s worth.

Instead, recognize that everyone fails sometimes, and that failure is a sign of growth and brings valuable learning opportunities.

3. You tend to procrastinate.

Ah, procrastination… we’re all guilty of it once in a while—but for perfectionists, it’s a true mark of their condition.

Perfectionists often delay the start of a project until they feel they’re adequately prepared. Sometimes that’s a great strategy, but the problem is that for perfectionists, the threshold for “ready” is much larger than it is for the rest of us.

Is reading the 73rd article on a subject really going to make you significantly more prepared than the 72nd? Probably not. Whether you’re aware of it or not, it’s possible that you’re using your need to be prepared as an excuse to put off something you’re actually afraid to start (see #2 above).

Solution: Set a reasonable limit for how much you need to prepare for a task. Do what you need to perform the task well—this might mean researching certain terms, or dedicating a certain number of hours to practicing a skill. But make your cut-off specific (like X hours practiced or X articles read), and stick to it. Then, take Nike’s advice and just do it!

4. You won’t share your ideas until they’re “ready.”

Similarly, you’re also reluctant to share your work or ideas until they’re “ready”—which of course, means perfect.

The problem is that perfection is completely subjective. “Perfect” exists only in your head. And if you’re a perfectionist, the challenge for you is that things are almost never perfect enough for your standards.

If you never share your ideas because you’re worried they aren’t perfect yet, you could be missing out on priceless feedback, input, and ideas that others could bounce back to you (not to mention all the due praise and credit you’re likely forfeiting).

Solution: Set deadlines. Give yourself a realistic deadline (maybe it’s two weeks, maybe a month) to work on a project. Then, ready or not, share your work with others. Ask their opinions, or seek ideas and inspiration from people whose work you admire.

5. You’re motivated by fear.

On some level, we’re all motivated by fear about something. That’s how we evolved—by learning what we’re supposed to fear (like hungry bears), and then doing a really good job of avoiding those things.

However, for tasks big and small, perfectionists tend to be pushed into action by their fear of failure, rather than pulled toward their goals and dreams of achieving them. Kind of like #1 (focusing on the results), this not only sucks the fun out of the journey, but can also lead to undue stress and discourage you from taking chances.

Solution: When working toward your goals, take your focus off of “winning” or “losing.” Think about all the things you can learn (or even enjoy) along the way. Unless it’s a life-or-death situation, there must be something positive that can come out of the whole thing, even if you don’t hit your original target.

6. You have an all-or-nothing mindset.

For perfectionists, “almost perfect” is basically failure. While there’s nothing wrong with setting high goals and working hard toward them, high achievers can generally be satisfied with coming close and still doing a great job, while picking up valuable lessons along the way.

But for perfectionists, a job well done is pretty much worthless if they didn’t meet all of their high goals. As a result, they tend to be unnecessarily harsh on themselves whenever they hit a bump in the road.

Solution: Accept that not every success or failure is an all-or-nothing situation. You can still succeed while not quite reaching your original goal (which might have been the right goal to begin with!). There are times when you need to adjust your sails and reassess your goals to ensure that you’re focusing on the right things.

7. You expectations are unrealistic.

Setting goals or standards that are unrealistically high is not exclusive to perfectionists. Lots of people set goals that they won’t quite reach, and this strategy might work to motivate them

(This reminds me of another cliché phrase I once heard a middle school gym teacher say with much enthusiasm: “Always shoot for the moon: if you fail, at least you’ll land among the stars.” Setting very high goals can motivate some people into action that they otherwise wouldn’t take with just a mediocre mark to aim for.)

The issue for perfectionists is that they get really hung up on their perceived failures, and might never try again. That’s why it’s important for them to set more realistic goals, and understand that not always hitting the mark is okay too.

Solution: Ask yourself what you really think you’re capable of. Consider the time you have, and the other commitments you need to honor during that same time. Whatever you think you’re capable of, it’s okay to challenge yourself one step or level above that standard—but not more. That should be just enough to motivate you to push your boundaries, but not so much that you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.

8. You’re highly critical of yourself and others.

It probably comes as no surprise that perfectionists tend to be highly critical of themselves and others.

Even when they’ve achieved something great, perfectionists can never truly enjoy their success, because they always find flaws or wish they’d done something differently. They focus more on the things they find inadequate or imperfect much more than what actually went right.

This is another reason why it’s hard for them to see failures as valuable learning opportunities, and why they also tend to struggle with low self-esteem.

Solution: The next time you work on a project (or are asked to evaluate someone else’s project), challenge yourself to comment only on the positive. Focus on what works. (Identifying things you like may actually be a challenge for you, which is why this is a great exercise.) If something absolutely must be improved, practice constructive criticism by offering a realistic solution to each issue you identify, and accompanying every piece of criticism with genuine praise for something else.

9. You have low self-esteem.

All that self-criticism and futile pursuits of elusive perfection can lead to low self-esteem in many perfectionists.

This can create a cycle in which their excessive (and often undue) criticism of themselves and others leads to isolation, which perpetuates low self-esteem, and reinforces their closed-off nature.

Solution: Use a journal to write down at least one thing you like about yourself each day. Also take note of when you catch yourself being critical (whether of yourself or others) and try to correct that by reframing the thought in a positive way.

10. You rarely delegate.

You’re a firm believer in the old adage, “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.”

The problem is, this isn’t always true. Your highly critical nature might also make you a bit of a control freak. If that sounds like you, you probably have a very hard time delegating tasks to others because you don’t trust anyone else to do it right.

However, delegating tasks is an important part of managing projects, boosting productivity, and often, just doing a better job all around.

Solution: Practice delegating tasks that you don’t actually have to do yourself. Offer some instruction, but don’t get carried away and micro-manage; trust that the other person is capable of handling the task, or at least asking for help if they do need it. This will allow you to focus on the work that actually demands the bulk of your attention.

11. Not reaching your goals makes you sad.

Falling short of a goal can be a bummer for anyone, but perfectionists tend to really take failure to heart. They often see shortcomings and failures as reflection of themselves and who they are, rather than as isolated events where a lot of different factors were at play.

Solution: If you fall short of a target, take the opportunity to reexamine your goals and adjust your course accordingly. It could be that your original goals were unrealistic, or just weren’t in line with what you truly want or need. Rather than allowing yourself to get stuck in depression or discouragement, get excited about the fact that you’re learning and taking steps to get closer to your goals.

What Causes Perfectionism?

There isn’t a single factor that’s been identified as a cause of perfectionism, but it is often a learned behavior.

It could be that the tendencies were learned from someone with a dominant role. in that person’s life, or that a parent or other influential figure enforced unrealistically high expectations.

At some point, they were likely taught that they’re valuable only because of what they achieve or what they do for other people.

Is Perfectionism a Mental Disorder?

Perfectionism itself is not considered a mental disorder, but rather a personality trait that is sometimes a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is classified as a mental illness.

People who suffer from OCD experience intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors they are unable to control. 

Is Perfectionism a Sign of Insecurity?

Whether they recognize it or not, perfectionists are often insecure and suffer from low self-esteem because they are so critical of themselves for not reaching their own unrealistic standards.

This insecurity tends to perpetuate even more critical scrutiny (of both themselves and others), which leads to even more insecurity.

Overcoming Your Perfectionism

If you feel that your perfectionist tendencies are holding you back or causing you anxiety, there are steps you can take to overcome it.

Learn how to stop procrastinating so you can challenge yourself to take action even when you feel things aren’t “perfect” yet—because chances are, there will never be a better time than now.

Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? How does it affect your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

 

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• How to Stop Procrastinating: 8 Tips for Staying on Top of Your To-Do List