How to Be Optimistic when Life Gets Difficult

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Psychology defines optimism as a person’s set of beliefs and traits that help them focus on the better aspects of life, rather than fixate on the negative. It’s a mindset that exhibits your personal strength and resilience when you’re faced with adversity.

Consider the following: Sarah and Sally are both youths who apply for their respective dream universities. Unfortunately, they both are rejected and equally disappointed. However, Sarah decides to focus her efforts on entering her second choice of university. Sally gets emotionally stuck on her rejection and fails to see the possible good that may come from it. Clearly, Sarah is being more optimistic than Sally even though they’re in the same situation.

Optimism is essentially how you shape your thoughts and deal with them in a more positive light. It doesn’t end with finding good in something bad though, because when you’re an optimist, you take actions that will influence your life for the better.

How Do You Become Optimistic?

A lot can go wrong in life, and sometimes things feel too hard and painful to be worth the effort. But things can’t possibly be without any hope. Actively thinking of ways to stay positive and find solutions can help you realize that it wasn’t that bad in the first place. Here are a few ways to do just that.

1. Focus on solutions, not problems.

Think of how you can solve a problem, rather than focusing on its cause.

If you’re like me, you often let self-doubt and negativity control your actions and thinking. Because you’re overwhelmed, you forget about finding a solution in the first place. When a problem arises, keep reminding yourself of possible solutions.

Start with the small stuff. What’s one small thing you can do to make things better? Once you’ve executed these small tasks to fix the problem, you move on to larger ones, and so on.

For example, you might be constantly late for work. In order to be timely, rather than going straight to waking up early (which is a hard thing to suddenly do), you can start with ironing the clothes you need the night before so you won’t need to fuss over them in the morning.

2. Accept that you can fail.

View failure as an avenue for your growth.

You may often hold yourself to unrealistic standards and stress about failing, but failure is part of being human. No one is perfect!

When you constantly try to protect yourself from disappointment, not only do you stress over mistakes, but you also miss out on the joyful feeling of living. Understand that you have limits that affect your success, and these limits expand as you grow.

Lots of people fail to get into new hobbies because they can’t get past the first few failures they encounter at the start. Rather than see them as failures, take them as learning opportunities. Observe what you did wrong and what you can do better, then apply them on your next attempt.

3. Argue with yourself.

Cultivate a habit of arguing against your negative thoughts and self-doubts.

Imagine applying for a promotion, only to lose to your coworker. You immediately think about what they were better at than you. You think you’re bad at your job and will never move up the ladder.

When these kinds of thoughts start, keep countering them with more positive thinking. So you didn’t get the promotion—maybe it’s a sign you’re fit for better things. Turning this thought process into a conscious habit gives you more control over how you think and feel.

4. Recognize that you did good.

Acknowledge what you did well, however small it may be.

We thrive on acknowledgment. When people notice us, we feel good and appreciated. But sometimes people aren’t there to see your accomplishments. And maybe the ones who are have something else occupying their minds.

Recognizing your own deeds is a fast way of staying positive. You see your improvements and accept that you attained something. It doesn’t matter how big it is, the important thing here is that you did something well.

You may have arrived on time today, finished some work, stopped yourself from smoking for the second week in a row, and scheduled a long-overdue check-up with your doctor. Those are all little victories that you should feel proud of.

5. Get some quality sleep.

When you’re well-rested, its easy to take on a more positive outlook.

Bad sleeping habits can turn you into a permanent grouch. Grouchy people tend to think of doing things just to get the day over.

The irritation and bad temper follow you around all day, and these negative emotions affect how you think. Similar things attract each other, and if you’re a negative person, then everything you encounter will seem negative to you.

Get the rest that you deserve. If you can’t get a solid night’s worth of sleep, take multiple naps throughout the day.

6. Surround yourself with winners.

Let yourself be influenced by positive thinkers and doers.

If you surround yourself with negative thinkers, you’ll become one too. “You think too big” or “That’s impossible” and other statements like these are red flags to watch out for. It’s peer pressure and herd mentality in one. The more you surround yourself with people who have a positive effect on you, the more you adjust your behavior and thinking to match theirs, eventually becoming a positive influence yourself.

You don’t need to dump your current circle of friends for seemingly better ones. If you think that you and your friends are prone to pessimism, then this is your opportunity to become a good influence.

7. Be realistic.

Break your goals down into specific, measurable, and actionable steps.

Blind optimism is falsely believing that nothing bad can happen because obviously there’s always a chance that something will. This leads to your overconfidence and naivety, and ultimately, failure and disappointment.

Healthy optimism is realizing that good things and bad things do happen, and then taking actionable steps to get a positive result. Making sure that you’re still acting and thinking realistically is key to realizing what blind optimism is.

A blind optimist will look at basketball and say they can make it to the NBA while putting in minimum effort. A healthy optimist will recognize it as a demanding sport that requires training and preparation. They will then set actionable steps (learn how to dribble, practice footwork, and play with friends) to master the sport.

3 P’s You Need to Change to be Optimistic

Cognitive distortions are unhealthy thinking habits that we unknowingly reinforce over time. These three, in particular, can make being optimistic more challenging for you.

1. Personalization

Think of personalization as internal vs. external attribution. When something bad happens, pessimists will internalize the cause and view the failure as their own fault. In contrast, optimists view a setback impersonally; they’re not to blame, so they’ll do better next time.

2. Pervasiveness

Pervasiveness is generalizing negativity to the point of catastrophe. Pessimists, when confronted with negativity, think along the lines of “I did bad today, that means I’m stupid.” This can lead to extremely negative thoughts about yourself and your environment based on only a few experiences. Optimists, meanwhile, may see positivity as pervasive instead, thinking on the lines of “I had a good night’s sleep, so today’s going to be a good day!”

3. Permanence

Permanence is the extent to which you view a negative outcome as fleeting or unchangeable. Pessimists might think “I’m a bad singer, that’s just how I am” while optimists might think “I could have sung better, but I’m exhausted today. I’ll do better next time.” What you need to realize here is that negative circumstances are not permanent and can be changed for the better.

What Are Qualities of an Optimistic Person?

Optimists aren’t just cheery-heads who smile at everything that’s thrown at them. They frown, they cry, and most of all they get angry and frustrated. The difference is that they analyze their situations and create ways to make them better.

Optimists view hardships and setbacks as a learning experience. Even the worst thing to happen still makes them look for the positive and use it to improve themselves. After all, failure is experience, and experience means there’s a possibility to get better.

It’s also important to note that no one is entirely an optimist. We’ve all got our pessimistic sides too—it’s part and parcel of being human. The important thing here is to try and exercise your optimistic side more than the pessimistic one.

Optimists tend to have some characteristics in common. If you’ve got some of the characteristics listed below, congratulations! You’re an optimist, or on the way to being one.

  • You see hardships and challenges as an avenue of learning.
  • You feel that good things will happen to you in the future.
  • You’re constantly taking advantage of any good opportunity for growth.
  • You accept your mistakes but don’t beat yourself for them.
  • You always feel gratitude for the good things that happen.
  • You think that things will turn out for the best.
  • You think that bad things can be turned into good things.
  • You have a positive attitude for yourself and those around you.
  • You think you’ll succeed through life’s challenges.
  • One bad experience doesn’t discourage you from the future.
  • The future looks bright to you.

Benefits of Being Optimistic

Being optimistic has been proven to have positive effects on both your physical and mental and social health. Let’s take a look at a few of them.

1. More Happiness

According to University College London’s Tali Sharot, optimists are better at imagining positive scenarios, and expect good things to come earlier. Their sense of anticipation is boosted and grows in correspondence to the expected pleasure of the anticipated event. This positive attitude gives them more contentment.

2. Better relationships

When you feel optimistic, you are in an almost constant state of positivity. You also feel more alive and confident. These kinds of positive emotions and mentality radiate outward, and tend to make the people around you like you more.

3. Fewer negative emotions

If you’re optimistic, it’s often hard to feel negative emotions on a long-term basis. Psychologist Martin Seligman states that depressed people often have a pessimistic outlook.

When you’re depressed, you tend to blame yourself, think it’s permanent, and believe that it will affect everything in your life. Optimists, meanwhile, feel a sense of security and confidence.

4. Better Coping

Actor Michael J. Fox, who was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991, writes, “Optimism and hope relate to how we think and feel about the future. If we really do believe that things will work out for the best, all the setbacks become easier to deal with.”

When you’re optimistic, you tend to cope with stress better, and have a more direct and timely response to hardships. When bad stuff happens, they tend to automatically think of ways how to get out of a bad situation or make it better.

5. Better Cardiac Performance

In one study, doctors tested 309 middle-aged patients who were to undergo coronary artery bypass surgery. These patients took physical exams and a psychological exam designed to measure optimism, depression, and self-esteem. After six months of tracking these patients, researchers found that the optimists in the group were only half as likely to be rehospitalized compared to the pessimists.

Another study consisting of 298 angioplasty patients, found out that pessimists were three times more likely to suffer heart attacks and undergo repeat surgery than optimists.

6. Better Blood Pressure

Scientists in Finland evaluated 616 middle-aged men over a period of four years. These men had normal blood pressures prior to the study, and their mental outlooks in life and the future were also documented. Over the four years, highly pessimistic men were found to be three times more likely to develop hypertension compared to the optimists.

Another study on 2,564 men and women who were 65 and older found that there is an association between high positive emotions and lower blood pressure.

7. Lower Chances of Heart Disease

Scientists from Harvard and Boston University evaluated 1,306 men with an average age of 61, with their optimistic and pessimistic tendencies measured along with their cholesterol, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking habits, blood pressure, and family history of heart disease. Through the next 10 years, the more pessimistic men were found to be more likely to develop heart disease than the optimistic men.

8. Better Overall Health

There seems to be some correlation between optimism and overall healthiness. Harvard cites a study evaluating the link between optimism and overall health between 2,300 older adults. In the span of two years, people who had a positive outlook were much more likely to stay healthy and enjoy life compared to their less happy counterparts.

9. Higher Chance of Survival

People who are healthy obviously live longer than their more sickly peers. And according to studies, optimism does boost your longevity.

An American study in the 1960s checked the psychological well-being of 839 people. When checked 30 years later, it was found that optimism does have a direct positive effect on longevity. For every 10 percent increase of pessimism in an optimist-pessimist scale, mortality rates increased by at least 19%.

A Dutch study consisting of 545 men without cardiovascular disease and cancer were checked in 1985. Over the next 15 years, it was found that optimists were 55% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease.

Another American study tested 6,959 students who took comprehensive personality tests when they entered the University of North Carolina in the mid-1960s. In the span of 40 years, 476 of them died with cancer being the most common cause. Pessimistic individuals had a 42% higher rate of death than optimistic people.

Blue Skies Are Always Ahead

A lot of things can affect your overall mental health and wellbeing. What may devastate one person might just be a minor inconvenience for another. One thing is true though: you can’t avoid being pessimistic. It’s a natural human process.

What you can do is prepare yourself to take on a more positive outlook in life. Just because you have a tendency to be negative doesn’t mean you’ll stay that way forever. You can train your mind to create a better response to adversity and achieve a more positive effect on your life in general.

If you’re currently one of many pessimists, then I hope this article has shown you some new tricks for staying positive. Who knows, maybe you’ll embrace your positive side soon.

Do you have your own ways to stay optimistic? Share them on the comments below!

 

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