Think of a time when you’re in the midst of a gripping scene. Suddenly, you’re confused. Whose thoughts are these? Whose emotions are those? Things keep jumping around, and you’ve lost track of the story.
This is called head hopping. It’s a jarring habit that confuses readers and might get them to abandon your work.
What Is Head Hopping?
Head hopping happens when the story quickly switches between different characters’ thoughts or feelings without warning. It’s like jumping from one person’s brain to another without warning your readers.
Here’s an example:
Patricia stared at Chris across the coffee shop, her heart pounding. Will he finally ask me out? she wondered. Chris noticed her nervous smile and thought, “She looks pretty today. I hope she likes my outfit. “Hi Patricia,” he said, sweating. Patricia assumed from the tone of his voice that he thought she looked terrible.
Notice how there are frequent jumps between Patricia’s and Chris’s thoughts. That’s head hopping in action. Your readers get dizzy trying to follow along.
Head hopping is different from writing multiple points of view correctly. Good writers usually stick to one perspective at a time.
It helps readers identify a character’s particular blend of thoughts and emotions. If it’s time for a switch, writers use chapter breaks or clear dividers to signal the change. Head hopping does it randomly, and often within the same paragraph.
Why Head Hopping Hurts Your Writing
Switching viewpoints without warning pulls readers out of the story. Instead of getting lost in your plot, they waste energy figuring out whose thoughts they’re reading. That ruins the magic where reading feels like living the story.
Readers also need time to bond with characters. When you jump around too often, you interrupt that connection. It’s hard to care deeply about anyone when the focus keeps shifting.
Each character has a unique voice—how they think, feel, and see the world. You need space to show that. Jumping between heads too quickly blends those voices and makes them less distinct.
And finally, head hopping kills tension. The drama often lies in what one character doesn’t know. If you reveal everyone’s thoughts at once, there’s no mystery, no surprise, and no emotional punch.
When Head Hopping Might Work
Head hopping isn’t always wrong, but it’s rarely the best choice. Some classic novels use omniscient narration, where a god-like narrator knows everyone’s thoughts. But it does require a strong narrative voice.
However, modern readers expect tighter POV control. What worked in the 1800s often feels outdated today. If you want to use multiple perspectives, you’ll need to signal the changes clearly and that you have a strong handle on pacing and voice.
How to Identify Head Hopping in Your Writing
Sometimes you don’t realize you’re head hopping until someone else points it out. The shifts can be sneaky, especially in early drafts. Here are some common signs to watch for:
- You’re inside more than one character’s mind in a scene.
- A sudden change in tone, vocabulary, or emotional focus might mean getting into another character’s head.
- Readers get confused about who’s thinking what. If someone has to reread a line to figure out whose head they’re in, the POV isn’t clear.
- Emotions and motivations seem to appear out of nowhere. If a character reacts strongly without any internal build-up, you might have made an unintentional switch.
- You use internal cues like “he thought” or “she felt” for multiple characters.
Read each paragraph and ask, “Whose head am I in?” If you can’t answer clearly, you’re probably head hopping.
How to Avoid or Fix Head Hopping
Here are some quick tips to remove head hopping from your writing.
Choose One POV Per Scene or Chapter
This is the simplest and most effective rule. Choose one character to be the “lens” of the scene. All thoughts, feelings, and sensory details should come from their perspective.
Show other characters’ emotions through dialogue, actions, and body language instead of their thoughts. Don’t reveal what they think, unless your POV character can guess or infer it.
Use Deep POV to Stay Anchored
Deep POV puts the reader inside your character’s head. It removes filter words like she thought, he felt, or they saw, and instead dives straight into the experience. This keeps the viewpoint tight and personal.
Instead of:
She thought the room looked gloomy.
Try:
The room pressed in—gray walls, dim light, and a smell like wet paper.
Signal All POV Shifts Clearly
If you need to switch perspectives, do it at a clear break. Use spacing, chapter titles, or a visual cue (centered asterisks to signal a scene shift) so readers know a shift is coming. Even extra white space can work. Never shift in the middle of a paragraph.
Show, Don’t Tell
Instead of telling readers what everyone thinks, show their emotions through body language, tone, and expressions. This lets readers guess what they’re feeling without breaking POV.
Instead of:
Chris wanted to leave. He hated this party.
Try:
Chris stood in a corner of the kitchen. “Let me know when we can go”, he muttered.
Color-Code Your Draft
Use different colors to highlight each character’s POV in your manuscript. If you see a rainbow of colors in one scene, you’re probably head hopping. Each scene should be mostly one color.
Read Your Scenes Out Loud
Reading out loud helps you catch shifts in voice or tone that may feel unnatural. Any chaotic bits in your writing could mean head hopping.
Conclusion
Head hopping is one of writing’s most common and damaging mistakes. It breaks immersion, weakens character depth, and kills tension. The good news? It’s completely fixable once you know what to look for.
Most of the time, your writing will be stronger if you stick to one point of view per scene or chapter. Head hopping could work, but it often limits how you can present your story to your audience.
Keep your writing focused by sticking to one POV per scene. Think of it as giving your characters moments to shine as individuals. This lets you dive deeper into their thoughts, emotions, and voice. And your readers can connect with characters who are better fleshed out.
How do you deal with head hopping in your writing? Share your thoughts below!
If you enjoyed this post, then you might also like:
- How to Add Easter Eggs to Your Book (Without Making It Too Obvious)
- How to Write Unlikable Characters (That Readers Can’t Stop Thinking About)
- Method Writing: How to Step Into Character and Write from the Inside Out
- How to Raise the Stakes in Your Story (And Keep Readers Hooked)
Cole is a blog writer and aspiring novelist. He has a degree in Communications and is an advocate of media and information literacy and responsible media practices. Aside from his interest in technology, crafts, and food, he’s also your typical science fiction and fantasy junkie, spending most of his free time reading through an ever-growing to-be-read list. It’s either that or procrastinating over actually writing his book. Wish him luck!
