Jealousy is a tricky emotion that often leads people toward irrational thoughts and actions. The conflict it breeds tends to stick around and further damage an already strained relationship.
It’s an emotion that has fueled countless narratives in literature, film, and other media. Whether fiction or non-fiction, these tales highlight the destructiveness of envy and the lessons it can impart.
Books About Jealousy
Below is a list of books about jealousy that examine the emotion from different angles and how it affects the human experience.
1. The Jealousy Cure by Robert L. Leahy
Experiencing jealousy is normal though we often consider it a bad thing. But what if jealousy serves a purpose in your life?
Robert L. Leahy, a clinical psychologist, talks about the origins of jealousy, its effects, and how it has served humanity. He also shares practical strategies for managing this emotion and turning it into a point of growth rather than catastrophe.
2. Overcoming Retroactive Jealousy: A Guide to Getting Over Your Partner’s Past and Finding Peace by Zachary Stockill
When entering a new relationship, sometimes you just can’t help but be curious about your partner’s previous relationships. Then you get anxious, irrational—even jealous.
Here, Zachary Stockill outlines the effective strategies and exercises he’s learned about controlling the intrusive thoughts and emotions that prevent a person from fully connecting with their partner.
3. The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life” by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
Though this book isn’t specifically about jealousy, it does talk about shifting your perspective into something more positive. By doing so, you’re able to deal with your emotions more constructively and productively.
The authors have formed simple but effective strategies for neutralizing negative feelings. These include cultivating a positive attitude, reframing issues, and negotiating mutually satisfying resolutions.
4. The New Codependency by Melody Beattie
There are a lot of complex emotions and behavioral patterns that manifest due to codependency. A big part of that is jealousy, which often leads to other problems such as manipulation, denial, and crossing boundaries.
Melody Beattie shows you what codependency is and what it is not. She also tells you how to break down its complexities into their root causes, which, when analyzed, can be successfully changed or dropped.
5. Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It by Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D.
It won’t matter if your partner adjusts their lives to meet your demands. If you’re not able to let go of your insecurity and jealousy, nothing will change.
Dr. Becker-Phelps says that the key to feeling secure about your relationship is self-awareness. Here, she talks about the different ways you can recognize unhealthy behavioral patterns and change them for the better.
6. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life by Richard Carlson
There’s a lot of worrying when you’re jealous or insecure about something or someone. They become insurmountable weights that consume every part of you. However, most of these things also turn out to be insignificant to the grand scheme of life.
Carson argues that by letting go of unnecessary worries, practicing mindfulness, and having a positive outlook, you’ll be able to prevent these “small stuff” from taking control—allowing you to live a joyful and fulfilling life.
7. The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner
Jealousy often leads to anger and frustration. And though anger is a natural emotion, many find it hard to control, much less avoid it.
Drawing on her experience as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Harriet Lerner talks about how you can identify the causes of anger and use it to create a positive and permanent change. By learning how to properly regulate your negative feelings, you’ll be able to reduce the impact of jealousy in your relationships.
8. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand the emotions of those around you. It also means being able to manage your feelings, especially powerful ones such as jealousy, anger, and anxiety.
Here, the authors provide frameworks and strategies for understanding emotional intelligence and becoming more self-aware. By improving in these areas, you can reduce the intensity of negative emotions and communicate more efficiently.
9. Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships by Sheva Rajaee
Sometimes you’ll feel anxious, doubtful, and even fearful about certain things in your relationship. At its most extreme, you begin to question your partner’s commitment, pick on their flaws, and constantly think about the worst scenarios.
Sheva Rajaee calls this relationship OCD—a chronic and obsessive feeling of doubt and anxiety about your relationships. Inside, she offers an evidence-based approach to challenging your irrational thought patterns, improving your rational thinking, and maintaining a healthy relationship.
10. The Burden Is Light: Liberating Your Life from the Tyranny of Performance and Success by Jon Tyson
The world around you screams about winning life through competition. Your worth is measured by the feats you achieve, the money you earn, and the power you hold. It’s led to a rat race where every competitor seems to be out only for themselves.
Jon Tyson, a pastor, seeks to point others away from merit and material-based success. He talks about living a life centered around God, the bible, and the inherent potential lying within every human.
Overcoming Jealousy
In the multitude of human emotions, jealousy stands as one of the most complex and volatile. It has proven itself an adversary that erodes your patience, self-esteem, and perspective.
But, as many people are now discovering, it can also be a powerful friend. Through self-reflection, empathy, and acceptance, jealousy can be a catalyst for growth and transformation.
The confidence you obtain becomes armor against the anxious thoughts that prey on you. Communication becomes the weapon you use to express your thoughts freely and joyfully. Ultimately, overcoming jealousy is a mark of resilience and willingness to change.
What books about jealousy would you recommend? Share them in the comments below!
If you enjoyed this post, then you might also like:
- 6 Habits You Can Form To Love Yourself Better
- 10 Mindfulness Books to Help You Be More Self-Aware
- How to Deal with Anger: The Importance of Introspection and Personal Discipline
- How to Practice Mindfulness: A Beginner’s Guide
Cole is a blog writer and aspiring novelist. He has a degree in Communications and is an advocate of media and information literacy and responsible media practices. Aside from his interest in technology, crafts, and food, he’s also your typical science fiction and fantasy junkie, spending most of his free time reading through an ever-growing to-be-read list. It’s either that or procrastinating over actually writing his book. Wish him luck!
